Last time I updated it looked like summer would never get here. It came; and went and so did Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas and now it's a New Year.
I also celebrated my 50th birthday, which I was extremely happy to see; a little more than 2 years ago that seemed unlikely.
We actually had beautiful (and dry) weather until mid December. This is the first dry November that we’ve had since I moved to Oregon. Then, instead of rain, we had 2 weeks of steady snow. The first week my side of town had very little on the ground (being at or a couple hundred feet above sea level). Then it started sticking – we ended up with over 2 feet on the ground at my house. There was so much that it was difficult to get out and about as the side streets never got plowed. Luckily my son has an old Isuzu 4x4 to get us around in. The New Year was ushered in with a 6 inch rain fall.
Well, enough about the weather.
As far as my cancer goes, my December CT & MRI are still clear. No one is saying cured, but one of my doctors called me his “miracle”. It all seems like a bad dream these days, now that my hair is grown in, over 16 months have passed since I’ve had any treatment at all. The pain (from the radiation treatments) is still there, but not as ever-present or obnoxious as it was. I still read the lung cancer blogs occasionally, but rarely do I comment. I feel that I have nothing to contribute, as my “battle” was so short and successful. It is also hard to not feel a little guilty. I do not know why I was chosen to survive; why my cancer essentially disappeared, when Stage IV NSCLC with multiple brain metastases is the direst of diagnosis with the least possible chance of survival. I am extremely grateful to be in this position, I feel thankful every single day.
After getting a divorce and cancer last year, I can’t say that my life is back to normal; the old “normal” no longer exists. The new “normal” is pretty darn good. Even though the economy is horrific, my 401k is appalling (I refuse to look anymore), I am happy to be able to fret over these things. I’m also glad to have a job. Our benefits continue to cost more (along with everything else) and cover less, but I’m happy to have health insurance when so many do not. I’m happy that ol’ W finally gets the boot in 15 days. I’ve saved some 4th of July fireworks for the occasion. I truly believe that Obama will return some sanity to the mess in Washington.
The kids are doing exceptionally well.
Kathleen finished her first term of her sophomore year with flying colors. She has not switched her major since last year from Conservation Biology. Almost all her classes are science and she is on track finishing up the general science classes this year. She seems to be studying all the time, but she managed to have some fun. She has her own apartment this year, but is not as idyllic as she hoped. Not much fun having to cook for yourself. During winter term she will be a teaching intern in Biology. No pay, but it will look good on her resume and earn a couple credits. She is planning to apply for an exchange program with the University of Auckland (New Zealand). If she’s accepted she’ll leave in February 2010 for 10 months or so. It will be a wonderful experience, but I’ll miss her terribly. Hopefully I’ll win the lottery so I can visit. Have to find the hobbit houses and Hogwarts.
Glenn has turned around academically. He actually cares about his grades for the first time, and it shows on his report card. He still struggles with remembering what his assignments are, but he’s so much better than he was. He’s still rowing. He is firmly on the varsity boat, and was the “stroke” seat for most of the fall season. (The stroke is one next to the coxswain that every on follows). He will be registering with NCAA clearing house shortly; his coach thinks that many colleges will try to recruit him. Hope that means a scholarship, but it may mean that a blind eye will be turned towards his freshman and sophomore grades… He has also been accepted to an exchange program in Germany this summer. He and 19 kids from his school will stay with families in Nagold for three weeks, going to regular High School classes (he has 2 years of German, so will understand basically nothing). The last week the group will stay in Munich and do some site seeing. Very exciting.
I, of course, will be totally broke and going no where.
I’m still taking ceramics, which I enjoy immensely. I’ve made a few things that are actually decent. I may also take a painting or photography class in the spring. Who knows? I’m happy to be able to think about the future; to make plans. The urgency that I felt up until this summer seems to have disappeared. I am perfecting my procrastination skills. And, if I must say so, I’m quite good at it!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Record Snow!
And you thought after all this time of inactivity that I was going to talk about cancer…
But, since my the brain MRI & chest CT scans I had last week came back clean – still no evidence of disease – I have no cancer to talk about! I’m convinced I have an angel parked on my shoulder.
For some reason, I have been secretly worrying. I have been having a run of bad luck these past few months, so it was only fitting in my mind that the cancer came back.
My “bad luck”: I tore the ligament in my ankle (as my last post in January talked about). I stomped around in boot for a month, doing physical therapy, all the while straining my already fragile back. Then, my back went out, but thankfully this time I didn’t blow a disk, I “just” had a spasm. When I got over this, as the weather was nice and I no longer needed the boot, went for a walk and proceeded to fall off a curb, breaking my arm. What a spaz. I had this awful splint thing on for a week, and when I went to the orthopedic surgeon for a cast, was told that this type of break (a radial head fracture), didn’t require a cast. My angel was looking out for me again! (Do you know how hard it is to type with a splint on your arm? Being a programmer, typing is kind of important.) Then, I needed a tooth pulled and oral surgery to clean up after the last extraction (the way my gum healed ended up splitting so that my jaw was exposed – ouch.) Not a lot of fun.
Other than that, life has been good.
Kathleen completed her 2nd term at OSU. She likes the school, her classes and most of her professors. She hates the dorms, so is looking for apartments off campus for next year. She is doing well in most of her classes, though it is much, much harder than she imagined. However, she has been taking an insane class load. Last term she took Biology, Chemistry (both with labs), Pre-calculus and Anthropology. It makes my head hurt just writing down the class names. This term is Biology, Chemistry and Calculus; she didn’t pick up a fourth course (thank goodness). This summer she plans to work, take one class at the local community college or Portland State and row with Station L. So, even though she’ll be sleeping here, I probably won’t see her.
Glenn has finally gotten it together in school. After a terrible first semester, requiring him to go to the first ½ of summer school, he had an epiphany. He realized that he actually had to do his homework, not just tell me that it is done. Duh. I wondered why he got done so fast. (He is not taking the same level classes that Kathleen took – she was taking honors level or IB prep – so actually believed he may not have as much homework as she did. Silly me.) He has been working very hard, and his 3rd quarter report card showed the effort, mostly A’s & B’s. Wow! He is still rowing with Rose City. He’s been bouncing between the varsity & JV boy’s boat. He was bounced from the varsity boat, and was unable to attend the San Diego Classic, but managed to get back on the boat in time for the trip to Brentwood (in British Columbia). At this level, his club is playing with the big boys. As it is a newer club, the boy’s (varsity) program has not yet medaled in any of the big events. They are moving up in the rankings. I think they are 4th or 5th in the NW. The Regional’s are in 3 weeks; perhaps they will pull off a miracle and make it to Nationals? He takes his driving test on May 15th, so my days as chauffer may be coming to a close. This summer, other than going to summer school for 3 weeks, he will be rowing and working. Another child I’ll never see…
As for me, I’m taking ceramics for another semester. The first semester, I made a series of pots that any 6th grader would be proud of. Luckily for me, I broke my arm at the end of the semester when no new work was being done. It was healed enough after spring break to do some hand building, and last week I started back on the wheel. I hope to get to a 7th grade level soon. I’m also signing up for a Learn to Row class for cancer survivors. If both of my kids think this sport is the best, I figured I might as well try it. My garden is blooming, so lots of work to do there. And, my job; there is lots of work and the company and product line looks like it’ll be here for a while; a very good thing in this economy.
Oh, and there is a record amount of snow this year, or at least the snowfall is more than at any point in recorded history. Previous record was in something like 1898. And, it is still snowing. As of today, Timberline Lodge had 821 inches this (snow) year (from September, 2007). All the ski areas are still open, which is ridiculous as it will be May tomorrow; normally only those at the higher elevations are still going at this time of year. Global warming works in mysterious ways.
But, since my the brain MRI & chest CT scans I had last week came back clean – still no evidence of disease – I have no cancer to talk about! I’m convinced I have an angel parked on my shoulder.
For some reason, I have been secretly worrying. I have been having a run of bad luck these past few months, so it was only fitting in my mind that the cancer came back.
My “bad luck”: I tore the ligament in my ankle (as my last post in January talked about). I stomped around in boot for a month, doing physical therapy, all the while straining my already fragile back. Then, my back went out, but thankfully this time I didn’t blow a disk, I “just” had a spasm. When I got over this, as the weather was nice and I no longer needed the boot, went for a walk and proceeded to fall off a curb, breaking my arm. What a spaz. I had this awful splint thing on for a week, and when I went to the orthopedic surgeon for a cast, was told that this type of break (a radial head fracture), didn’t require a cast. My angel was looking out for me again! (Do you know how hard it is to type with a splint on your arm? Being a programmer, typing is kind of important.) Then, I needed a tooth pulled and oral surgery to clean up after the last extraction (the way my gum healed ended up splitting so that my jaw was exposed – ouch.) Not a lot of fun.
Other than that, life has been good.
Kathleen completed her 2nd term at OSU. She likes the school, her classes and most of her professors. She hates the dorms, so is looking for apartments off campus for next year. She is doing well in most of her classes, though it is much, much harder than she imagined. However, she has been taking an insane class load. Last term she took Biology, Chemistry (both with labs), Pre-calculus and Anthropology. It makes my head hurt just writing down the class names. This term is Biology, Chemistry and Calculus; she didn’t pick up a fourth course (thank goodness). This summer she plans to work, take one class at the local community college or Portland State and row with Station L. So, even though she’ll be sleeping here, I probably won’t see her.
Glenn has finally gotten it together in school. After a terrible first semester, requiring him to go to the first ½ of summer school, he had an epiphany. He realized that he actually had to do his homework, not just tell me that it is done. Duh. I wondered why he got done so fast. (He is not taking the same level classes that Kathleen took – she was taking honors level or IB prep – so actually believed he may not have as much homework as she did. Silly me.) He has been working very hard, and his 3rd quarter report card showed the effort, mostly A’s & B’s. Wow! He is still rowing with Rose City. He’s been bouncing between the varsity & JV boy’s boat. He was bounced from the varsity boat, and was unable to attend the San Diego Classic, but managed to get back on the boat in time for the trip to Brentwood (in British Columbia). At this level, his club is playing with the big boys. As it is a newer club, the boy’s (varsity) program has not yet medaled in any of the big events. They are moving up in the rankings. I think they are 4th or 5th in the NW. The Regional’s are in 3 weeks; perhaps they will pull off a miracle and make it to Nationals? He takes his driving test on May 15th, so my days as chauffer may be coming to a close. This summer, other than going to summer school for 3 weeks, he will be rowing and working. Another child I’ll never see…
As for me, I’m taking ceramics for another semester. The first semester, I made a series of pots that any 6th grader would be proud of. Luckily for me, I broke my arm at the end of the semester when no new work was being done. It was healed enough after spring break to do some hand building, and last week I started back on the wheel. I hope to get to a 7th grade level soon. I’m also signing up for a Learn to Row class for cancer survivors. If both of my kids think this sport is the best, I figured I might as well try it. My garden is blooming, so lots of work to do there. And, my job; there is lots of work and the company and product line looks like it’ll be here for a while; a very good thing in this economy.
Oh, and there is a record amount of snow this year, or at least the snowfall is more than at any point in recorded history. Previous record was in something like 1898. And, it is still snowing. As of today, Timberline Lodge had 821 inches this (snow) year (from September, 2007). All the ski areas are still open, which is ridiculous as it will be May tomorrow; normally only those at the higher elevations are still going at this time of year. Global warming works in mysterious ways.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
No Surgery - Yet
I just saw the podiatrist about my ligament... He wants me to do a few weeks of Physical Therapy. Then he will re-examine and evaluate.
Stay-tuned!
Oh, and the doctor was about 10 years old - I felt like I was being treated by Doogie Howser.
Stay-tuned!
Oh, and the doctor was about 10 years old - I felt like I was being treated by Doogie Howser.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
One Year
One year ago today I found out I had two brain tumors. The details of that day are extremely fuzzy, (actually, other than the pain, memories of the weeks before are vague as well,) but I remember my doctor taking my keys and having me call someone to take me directly to the hospital. There, the neurosurgeon started talking about cancer, and survival rates, generally scaring the crap out of everyone, except me - I was just too out of it. I think I remember because I have told the story so many times.
Today, I am, despite all the dire predictions, here.
I am so grateful to everyone who helped me. All the cards, emails, calls, rides, food, gifts, yard work, prayers and moral support really helped me get through it.
I think my refusal to believe that I was really sick may have helped as well. I'm pretty sure my denial skills are extraordinary. The many months of treatment, even the fact that I have (had?) cancer seem like it a bad dream. However, the tattoos down my chest and the scars from my port and on my head are daily reminders that it really did happen to me.
As I enter my 2nd year of living with cancer, I am optimistic. I decided to I needed to start getting out and doing things again. For too long (even before I got sick), my life has been work & home, not much else. So, I signed up for a ceramics class, something I absolutely loved in high school & college. After 2 classes, and 2 open studios, that feeling has been reawakened. I went this morning and before I realized it, 3 hours had passed. Something about the wheel is so mesmerizing. I'm glad the wheels are electric as I don't think I could work a kick wheel with this stupid boot that I'm still wearing!
Finally, about my ankle... The anterior talofibular ligament is torn. I've been referred to another foot doctor who will "repair" it. Have no clue what it takes to "repair" a ligament, though I'm pretty sure it involves surgery. I will find out on Tuesday what will happen next. To bad they don't offer frequent flyer miles for surgeries. Two back, one brain and one ankle (plus the two for the port) ought to get a round trip ticket to Europe at least.
Today, I am, despite all the dire predictions, here.
I am so grateful to everyone who helped me. All the cards, emails, calls, rides, food, gifts, yard work, prayers and moral support really helped me get through it.
I think my refusal to believe that I was really sick may have helped as well. I'm pretty sure my denial skills are extraordinary. The many months of treatment, even the fact that I have (had?) cancer seem like it a bad dream. However, the tattoos down my chest and the scars from my port and on my head are daily reminders that it really did happen to me.
As I enter my 2nd year of living with cancer, I am optimistic. I decided to I needed to start getting out and doing things again. For too long (even before I got sick), my life has been work & home, not much else. So, I signed up for a ceramics class, something I absolutely loved in high school & college. After 2 classes, and 2 open studios, that feeling has been reawakened. I went this morning and before I realized it, 3 hours had passed. Something about the wheel is so mesmerizing. I'm glad the wheels are electric as I don't think I could work a kick wheel with this stupid boot that I'm still wearing!
Finally, about my ankle... The anterior talofibular ligament is torn. I've been referred to another foot doctor who will "repair" it. Have no clue what it takes to "repair" a ligament, though I'm pretty sure it involves surgery. I will find out on Tuesday what will happen next. To bad they don't offer frequent flyer miles for surgeries. Two back, one brain and one ankle (plus the two for the port) ought to get a round trip ticket to Europe at least.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Scan Results: All Clear!
I had my scans (brain MRI/CT of the chest) last Thursday and my follow-up appointments today. I am still looking good and show No Evidence of Disease. My brain remains clear of mets and my lungs remain tumor free. I do have some “fibrosis” in my left lung, which as it was explained to me, is from the radiation. It is apparently scarring and permanent, and may cause some shortness of breath, but as of yet I have not noticed anything.
Since I’ve gone 1 year (close enough) with out reoccurrence of a brain metastasis, I do not need to get another scan for 4 months. I will get another CT scan at that time as well. I cannot even begin to express how truly lucky and blessed I feel.
I finally went to have my ankle checked out yesterday, and the doctor thinks I have torn a ligament. No wonder it hurt for so long. I will get an MRI in a week or so to see what and how bad the damage is. The doctor slapped one of those awful plastic boots on my foot and told me I have to wear if for the next couple weeks. My co-workers just looked at me clomping into work today and shrugged. I really am pathetic, but I’m glad that a sore ankle is all I have to deal with.
Kathleen returned to college on Sunday, and Glenn started back to school yesterday. Due to the holidays and some vacation days, I have only worked 4 days in the past 2 weeks. So this week will be a long one for us all.
And I am hoping for snow, but so far nothing but rain. Ah, Portland in Winter...
Since I’ve gone 1 year (close enough) with out reoccurrence of a brain metastasis, I do not need to get another scan for 4 months. I will get another CT scan at that time as well. I cannot even begin to express how truly lucky and blessed I feel.
I finally went to have my ankle checked out yesterday, and the doctor thinks I have torn a ligament. No wonder it hurt for so long. I will get an MRI in a week or so to see what and how bad the damage is. The doctor slapped one of those awful plastic boots on my foot and told me I have to wear if for the next couple weeks. My co-workers just looked at me clomping into work today and shrugged. I really am pathetic, but I’m glad that a sore ankle is all I have to deal with.
Kathleen returned to college on Sunday, and Glenn started back to school yesterday. Due to the holidays and some vacation days, I have only worked 4 days in the past 2 weeks. So this week will be a long one for us all.
And I am hoping for snow, but so far nothing but rain. Ah, Portland in Winter...
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
A Very Merry Chistmas
It has been a while since I've posted, and my brother reminded me that some folks that I don't see or talk to on a regular basis do look here to see that I am still breathing, (which I am, I am happy to report), so here is a quick update.
On the health front, nothing new to report. I have been doing very well, feeling fine. I am due to have a brain MRI & chest CT on January 3rd, and am hoping they will remain clear. My hair is about 3 inches long, it came back dark, gray and very curly. The only problems seem to be my rotten back, which has never been quite right since I ruptured a disk in 2005, and my ankle which I twisted in August and is acting up lately. All this is probably due to the fact that I am overweight, out of shape and it has been raining for the last 2 months.
Some of you may have heard of the flooding out this way, but it never affected me, nor the city. The coast got slammed, and some little towns were wiped out, the freeway and train tracks to Seattle were under water for a week, and landslides closed a number of main through fares, but it was just wet, (really, really wet) here.
Kathleen completed her first term at college and did very well. During the last half of her term, she met everyone in her hall in the dorms, and made many new friends. She switched majors, again. In all fairness, she is trying to find a major to match her interests, which is conservation and the environment. So, now she is majoring in Conservation Biology, which is really Biology with internships around conservation. Her 2nd term will be tough, both Biology and Chemistry, with labs. She has decided to stay at OSU and then look into transferring in her Junior year. So, I can have her close to home for another 1 1/2 years, at least.
Glenn is doing OK in his sophomore year. School has never been his cup of tea, so the fact he is going every day is a good thing. I can't force him to like it :) He is learning to drive, and doing very well; all those years of video games has paid off. He will be taking a Driver Ed over winter break (starts on Friday), as he definitely will not qualify for the good student discount on our insurance. However, he is doing extremely well in Crew. He made the top varsity boy's boat, which is very good (as the seats often go to the junior or senior boys). So fall was filled with regattas, the furthest event was in Sacramento, California. In the spring he will go to San Diego, CA as well as all the events he went to last year. I hope I can go to the Victoria, BC event this year. He had to drop the dragon boats, as that was way to much.
I am not doing much more than working. I have enrolled in a ceramics class with a friend, starting in January, but at the moment I am on the wait list. If I don't get in, I'll look around for something to do other than haul Glenn around town.
Our Thanksgiving was spent with friends that I have been sharing the holiday with for the past 20 years (since BC - before children). Christmas was spent at home, just the three of us. I manged to under cook the Au Gratin potatoes, and over cook the broccoli, but it didn't matter (we had all filled up on to many treats throughout the day). I didn't make any of the calls I was planning to make yesterday, I was too busy being lazy.
I also didn't stress out (that much) this year about buying the perfect gift, or getting cards written out. I did run around at the last minute, but that is just how I am. If I can put if off until tomorrow, I do.
All joking aside, I am truly thankful that I was able have a normal holiday season. It really was the best gift I could ever get.
On the health front, nothing new to report. I have been doing very well, feeling fine. I am due to have a brain MRI & chest CT on January 3rd, and am hoping they will remain clear. My hair is about 3 inches long, it came back dark, gray and very curly. The only problems seem to be my rotten back, which has never been quite right since I ruptured a disk in 2005, and my ankle which I twisted in August and is acting up lately. All this is probably due to the fact that I am overweight, out of shape and it has been raining for the last 2 months.
Some of you may have heard of the flooding out this way, but it never affected me, nor the city. The coast got slammed, and some little towns were wiped out, the freeway and train tracks to Seattle were under water for a week, and landslides closed a number of main through fares, but it was just wet, (really, really wet) here.
Kathleen completed her first term at college and did very well. During the last half of her term, she met everyone in her hall in the dorms, and made many new friends. She switched majors, again. In all fairness, she is trying to find a major to match her interests, which is conservation and the environment. So, now she is majoring in Conservation Biology, which is really Biology with internships around conservation. Her 2nd term will be tough, both Biology and Chemistry, with labs. She has decided to stay at OSU and then look into transferring in her Junior year. So, I can have her close to home for another 1 1/2 years, at least.
Glenn is doing OK in his sophomore year. School has never been his cup of tea, so the fact he is going every day is a good thing. I can't force him to like it :) He is learning to drive, and doing very well; all those years of video games has paid off. He will be taking a Driver Ed over winter break (starts on Friday), as he definitely will not qualify for the good student discount on our insurance. However, he is doing extremely well in Crew. He made the top varsity boy's boat, which is very good (as the seats often go to the junior or senior boys). So fall was filled with regattas, the furthest event was in Sacramento, California. In the spring he will go to San Diego, CA as well as all the events he went to last year. I hope I can go to the Victoria, BC event this year. He had to drop the dragon boats, as that was way to much.
I am not doing much more than working. I have enrolled in a ceramics class with a friend, starting in January, but at the moment I am on the wait list. If I don't get in, I'll look around for something to do other than haul Glenn around town.
Our Thanksgiving was spent with friends that I have been sharing the holiday with for the past 20 years (since BC - before children). Christmas was spent at home, just the three of us. I manged to under cook the Au Gratin potatoes, and over cook the broccoli, but it didn't matter (we had all filled up on to many treats throughout the day). I didn't make any of the calls I was planning to make yesterday, I was too busy being lazy.
I also didn't stress out (that much) this year about buying the perfect gift, or getting cards written out. I did run around at the last minute, but that is just how I am. If I can put if off until tomorrow, I do.
All joking aside, I am truly thankful that I was able have a normal holiday season. It really was the best gift I could ever get.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Small Scare
When I posted on Sunday, I really was not feeling all that great. I have actually been feeling like I have been coming down with something for a couple weeks, just a low grade, yucky, blah feeling.
On Monday, I really started feeling lousy. I went to work anyway. By midday my head started pounding. The headache continued to worsen throughout the afternoon and evening. My pain meds did nothing to diminish it. Monday night I barely slept because it hurt so bad. So, of course panic set in. I could no longer deny it. So, I called my oncologist first thing Tuesday morning, and he had me come right in.
After an exam, he told me that we could wait it out to see if the headache went away or go in for an MRI just to make sure. I opted for the MRI, as I know that I would imagine all kinds of dire things otherwise. The MRI came out clean. Whew.
Funny, once I got the word that the cancer wasn't back in my brain, I immediately started to feel better. I think I have been subconsciously thinking that I was getting sick again, the bad sick not the normal sick like everyone gets.
I have to give my doctor credit, because he didn't make me feel like an idiot for hitting the panic button. He was very patient with me, and took my headache very seriously. He also went over with me, again, signs of the cancer returning versus getting a cold or flu.
Today, I really do feel OK. I guess you can really make yourself sick with worry.
On Monday, I really started feeling lousy. I went to work anyway. By midday my head started pounding. The headache continued to worsen throughout the afternoon and evening. My pain meds did nothing to diminish it. Monday night I barely slept because it hurt so bad. So, of course panic set in. I could no longer deny it. So, I called my oncologist first thing Tuesday morning, and he had me come right in.
After an exam, he told me that we could wait it out to see if the headache went away or go in for an MRI just to make sure. I opted for the MRI, as I know that I would imagine all kinds of dire things otherwise. The MRI came out clean. Whew.
Funny, once I got the word that the cancer wasn't back in my brain, I immediately started to feel better. I think I have been subconsciously thinking that I was getting sick again, the bad sick not the normal sick like everyone gets.
I have to give my doctor credit, because he didn't make me feel like an idiot for hitting the panic button. He was very patient with me, and took my headache very seriously. He also went over with me, again, signs of the cancer returning versus getting a cold or flu.
Today, I really do feel OK. I guess you can really make yourself sick with worry.
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